"How to Make a Life - A Tibetan Refugee Family and the Midwestern Woman They Adopted" by Madeline Uraneck.
When I learned from my cousin, Madeline Uraneck, that she planned a career shift: writing for publication, (she is a dedicated, hard worker, an educator, communicator: an "idea person" who cares equally about the welfare of humanity.) I knew she would produce high quality, unique and prolific books. "How to Make a Life.." is her first. And she does.
I've read it and I'm excited about it!
Madeline explains early in the book that she and her two siblings, David and Susan, lost their Mother, Anne, (to a sudden and shocking illness in the early 1950's). Anne was a younger sister of my Mom; the sibling that my Mother had the greatest affinity for: they were both quieter and loved to read. Their idea of a nice summer day, in the 1930's, was to walk to the public library, browse for books (adult books) and try to check them out on their kids' library cards, so Mom told me. How proud they would be of Madeline's book!
It is a memoir of her friendship with Tenzin Kalsang, a brave Tibetan lady and her family: Migmar Dorjee, her equally brave husband, and four kids. Migmar was born in Tibet; he was a little boy when the Chinese invaded and stole his country (1950). He was a bit older during his harrowing escape to one of India's Tibetan refugee camps! Tenzin was born in the refugee camp (1962); maybe we would think he robbed the cradle in marrying young Tenzin, but her mother wanted her to marry a man who had already shown he could take care of a wife and kids.
Eventually, he had to take care of the kids (with help from grandparents), because Tenzin won a place in a resettlement effort for Tibetans from the US government! It was a family decision to send her; they were separated for several years before Migmar and the children arrived in Madison, WI. (1998)
Tenzin worked as much as she could at the typical "menial" but necessary service jobs to send funds home to the family, etc. Tenzin earned her way! She met Madeline when she was cleaning offices; she must have sensed "a friend", since Madeline gives off smiling, bubbly charm--the face of her intellect and determination to help, if possible; acquaintance matured to friendship.
Much time has passed. US citizenship achieved, children grown and married. The second half of the book is awash in entertaining and enriching travel experiences when Madeline, Susan and the kids travel the US and the world to meet families, chaperone to help facilitate the semi-arranged marriages for the kids and visit important religious centers.
An important point of the book: Tenzin, Migmar and family helped fill a void felt by Madeline; each of us has our "empty rooms, dark cellars or monsters under the bed" or whatever; we cope with these as well as we individually can.
As a self appointed Family Historian, I will add this: A gift that Madeline provided to this family is a detailed record of the experiences, hardships and triumphs of their First Immigrant Family to the US. (Perhaps someday, family members may be able to return to Tibet?) But years from now descendants of Tenzin and Migmar will be able read the book, along with Family Stories they will be told. I wish someone had written a book about my early ancestors from a perspective like this.
Madeline does a wonderful job explaining the traditional way Tibetans are named, what the names mean, their faith and some customs. She explains how India ended up with many thousands of Tibetan refugees and how the US began the process of accepting a few Tibetan refugees (early 1990's), tying up the loose ends, etc.
As I read the book, I Googled and You Tubed around the 'net. I located enough information, photos and even a vintage American Military production of life in Tibet in the early 1940's to add a visual perspective to the book. I was entertained, educated and informed by this great "little book".
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